Back from a slightly extended business trip, exhaustion is setting in. But I feel like this blog captures memories for me; the way K made me feel this past week and a half was ~ cherished and valued ~ memories most definitely worth capturing.
This trip involved a lot of very busy days, long hours, basically working from waking up until dropping into bed. I averaged 5.5 hours of sleep for the last 10 days.
Who was there to offer laughs and support during this time? K. Who did I miss, perhaps even too much? K. Who, just over a month and a week into this relationship, expressed worry about how hard I was working and offered a night of pampering so I could recover? K Who tolerated when I stressed out about "us" because I was so exhausted and missed him? K.
He made a point of almost daily sending me something to make me smile, whether it be a text, picture or email. The nature of the work I was doing didn't leave much time for me to talk or respond...yet he kept it up without having to be asked. It really helped my ability to deal with a stressful last few days. Even though we've been apart, he kept us connected.
That kind of thing never happened with the ex...and I worked myself into exhaustion, at times, all for marital community. Flying home tonight, I realized how nice it was to have support from someone who had no moral obligation to lend it. Even if my relationship with K is only for the short-term, he's taught me that I deserve someone who recognizes the hard effort.
When I first left my marriage, I found daily affirmations of why it was the right choice. K has, in many instances, affirmed this is a good path for me right now. He is nearly the opposite of the ex in nearly every important category; but most importantly - he patiently deals with my oddities, worries, and concerns. He may be seven years younger, but he is often far wiser than I.
Just before leaving on the trip, I worried that the time apart could be the end of this relationship because it was so new. As I sit here, typing, I laugh at myself for worrying. Actually, I'm really a bit angry at myself for not giving K more credit. I hate this about me, but I almost feel like I've been conditioned to expect the least from the men in my life. K puts effort into "us"...although it really feels effortless for him - it's just how he is.
K has been out of town himself and I finally get to see him tomorrow. Tomorrow can't come soon enough.
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