Blurts

Tomorrow I meet his family.  I just started getting nervous.

Tonight before I left his house, as we were saying good-bye in a unique way, he whispered, "You have one more, let me have it."  I began to fear he's reading my emails with Mr. Frenulum.

This weekend I insisted on helping around his house, getting it ready for his family's visit.  I didn't even do that much "domestic" when I was married.  I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me.

Today, while cleaning, I noticed he has the book "Assholes Finish First" by his bedside.  I really try to never snoop around his house: he trusts me enough to be there when he's not; I don't want to breach that trust by snooping.  But I was making the bed, had to move the book, and noticed the title.  The fact he would be reading it really bothers me and I'm not sure why.  I certainly would be offended if he dictated my reading genres.  Perhaps its because he started reading it in July, after we started dating.

Yesterday was the first time I felt like he didn't listen to me.  I was making dinner (a rarity) and asked to use a particular pan he hardly ever uses.  He said sure.  A few minutes later he came in, asking what I was making in it, and then asked me to put it away because he rarely uses it.  I feel petty that it hurt, a bit, that he didn't really listen to the question the first time it was asked.

This evening he said, more than once, how much he appreciated my help.  He said he hadn't wanted me to do so much but that he really did appreciate how much I did.  When asked why he didn't want help, he commented about it being his house and his responsibility, his burden.  But he didn't have a response when I said it's okay to share the burden now and again.

Tonight he also admitted he purposefully introduced me to his fishing buddy because he knew the gossip chain would happen exactly as it did: that it would get back to his family that we were dating.  I plan to ask him later why he didn't want to tell his family about me himself.