The Falling

Let's just be frank here because surely we deserve it (but don't call me Frank or Shirley):

I'm really falling for K and it scares me a bit.


We spent basically, the last five nights together.  We spent entire days together this weekend except for when he had to go to work, which was good because I actually had some work to do myself.  I still haven't thought "I'm bored."  I've thought "this is so damn comfortable" or "my sides hurt from laughing so much" or "falling asleep in his arms makes me feel secure."

There was a little bump this weekend in terms of a mis-communication of something explicit.  I'll keep to my policy of being vague on certain aspects that should be detailed only with K.  But even on this bump, we talked through what happened, without frustration, with what felt like honesty from both of us.  I am taking a leap of faith and trusting in what he says.  His actions support his words in a way that's hard to describe.

Earlier I was worrying if I'm falling too fast and what does that say about me as a person.  Then I recognized everything he says and does around me shows he's falling in a similar way.  It made me realize that I don't have to feel weird about how I'm feeling.  It's okay to go along, being authentic, enjoying the moment and laughing way too much.  He's, so far, standing right next to me in the process.

But the scared child in my heart says: Please, please don't let him be shining me on.  I can't take another heartbreak right now.  When will the child's fear be silenced?