My current dating dilemma: what do you do when it seems like the guy is a great guy...just a tad shier than I would prefer. I'm just back from date one with Guy 4 - A. He was really nice, smart, well traveled, does volunteer work, is a professional. We talked the whole hour we were at wine tasting. He seems shier than I like, though. When I get nervous I can't read people as well. So perhaps I'm wrong. But it also means that in the moment, I'm not sure if I'm reading things right.
For example, in hindsight, it almost seems like he was suggesting we move to a different winery. Yet, he didn't come right out and say it. In the moment, I thought he was just letting me know there were other wineries in the area because I mentioned that I really am interested in boning up on the wine knowledge. Ugh. I would have liked to hang out a bit more with him today.
I really wish there was a rule book! Yes, I know Mr. Frenulum, there is not one to be had; at least not rules for merely dating. :o)
Then I think about the fact that if there's a "click" that these kinds of things sort themselves out. Maybe there was a click and I just didn't hear it. Guy 4 - A is from a different culture; certainly social mores impact the way he interacts with people. We'll see. I've already decided to write a thank you email just to let him know I wouldn't mind getting together again and if he has any interest we'll go from there.
I also decided I need to better define what my rules are for later dating stages. I've enjoyed these first 4 "first dates" and have a few more in the works. But if I'm to propel myself past date 2, I need to know what are my parameters. Or maybe I don't. Maybe it's time to be a serial dater for a while, to experience more of what is out there in terms of meeting people. Who knows. I'll sort it out some day. I sometimes think I waited too long to get back into this; maybe I'm just anxious to have life figured out. But the best dilemmas are not solved over night, now are they?
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