Avoiding the Rabbit Hole

This weekend, K is going out of town with some friends.  Throughout the past week, he's made an extra effort to do date night things instead of just hanging out at his house during the week.  I suspect he was wanting to make up for the fact that he will be gone for the majority of the holiday weekend.

His effort made me smile, and I enjoyed the events we attended and the time we had together.  So this morning (before I prepare to go fish - YAY), I lay here, in his bed, smiling.

Tuesday my smile increased when he said that he asked his friends to come back a day early because he told them he "had someone, err, something" he wanted to do on Monday (okay he really didn't say "someone" to his friends, but it was a cute funny when conveyed to me).  He then said he wanted to spend Monday with me.  Consistently, he makes me feel like a priority in his life, which is a welcome change.

And we get to the but:  last night, when I said they might want to stay until Monday if the fishing is good, he said that his friends want to come back Sunday to avoid the Monday traffic.  This was the first inconsistency I've heard from him about something that is related directly to me.*  Are the coming back at his insistence or their's?

Guess what.  That last question didn't set off the typical alarms in my head.  Pondering it this morning, I realized a couple of things:

• It very well could have been him that planted the idea of traffic into his friends' heads because he does want to come back.
• Why does it really matter the reason for coming back on Sunday?  The important part, regardless of why, is that he wants to spend the rest of his holiday with me.
• The way he phrased his comments on Tuesday was aimed at making me feel good and that was, again, an effort toward making me feel like a priority.  That effort is being carried through in action, regardless of the words, by him making plans with me for Monday.

Right now I'm changing my approach to my job search and I've noticed that the shift in that thinking seems to be helping me shift my thinking about this relationship into what feels like a healthier mode.

I am consistently inconsistent myself.  But I tend to point it out because it relates to the dual response team in my head where I will literally have two conflicting reactions because I see situations from multiple sides.  Isn't it a tad unfair for me to expect people in my life to never, ever have inconsistencies themselves?  Sure, one should diligently look out for things like "Honey, I'm going to the store" when he in fact goes to the bar ~ that's more out right lying.

It feels good to over think this point in a way that is making me actually grow myself.  When I dated back in college this kind of inconsistency would have made me question my partner.  But there's no need for questions this time around.  Perhaps it's a better quality person; whatever the cause, I'm happy that I can just breathe and not pull myself into a rabbit hole over something this minor.
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*For those of you keeping track, I may have mentioned a previous inconsistency.  That was related to why he chooses to work two jobs; I ultimately decided that neither answer was related to anything to do with me, so it didn't matter if there was a minor inconsistency.  Pretty much every other thing he says and does remain consistent.