Projection

In pondering projections, I have to re-evaluate past analysis.  In April, there was a need for me to figure out why I was projecting an expectation upon someone.  Back then I recognized that I do project and sometimes forget to lay things out plainly, creating a situation where expectations are unfulfilled...unspoken expectations, though.

I know I have to continue working on the unspoken part.

But I'm also reconsidering if a certain level of expectations, spoken or otherwise, is a good thing.  And here's why:  because expectations are a form of setting the bar for one's self.  One just must set the bar realistically.  In the recent past, it was not really too high a bar to have the expectation that consideration of me would have been included in someone's analysis.  That expectation was merely "have a thought for me" and nothing more intrusive.

What's triggering this thought today?  A little thing really.  Last night K and I met up again.  We said good bye, quite delightfully, in the parking lot and I'll be writing a separate post momentarily on some thoughts and questions.  When I got home, I realized I had lost an earring and I remembered the moment I felt it fall out.  K had, again, sent a text making sure I was home and in reply I mentioned the lost earring.

This morning, I woke around 5am (and weirdly, I found out later, so did K).  One of the first thoughts in my head was that it would be so completely wonderful if he went by the place and found the earring.  Then, in the midst of sadness coming from one part of my life, K sent me a picture text showing me that he had gone by the place, in the rain, on the way to work, and found my earring.

It's a completely tiny thing...and yet it's a completely big thing that he would do something like that for plain, ol' me.  I felt like I had the unspoken expectation that a man should want to do something like that and he met it.

Yes, I get that we are so new in this relationship that there's really a question of if he's just putting on the spit and polish for me.  But it's still what I deserve: someone who will go out of his way to think about me and do things for me.  And his simple act took effort...and not just thought.